Painted Lines Read online

  “Nothing,” he repeated, “then want to tell me why you ignored me when I tried talking to you?”

  “Uhm, because you weren’t going to talk, you were going to yell, and I wasn’t in the mood.”

  “You weren’t in the mood?” he scoffed.

  “Not really, had a long, rough day the all I wanted was to take a shower, and a nap.”

  “Scout, you’re done with this competition.”

  “Uhm, no, I’m not,” I told him.

  “Yes, you are. Tomorrow you will go in and tell whoever you need to that you’re out, then we will be heading home.”

  I looked him straight in the eyes, “No, Cas I am not leaving, I am not quitting.”

  He growled in frustration. “And when something happens to you?”

  “Why would you think something would happen to me?”

  “Your area has been broken into twice, Scout!” he shouted.

  “Uh huh,” I replied, “what does that have to do with me being hurt, isn’t he in jail?”

  “Scout, you’re done, we’re going home. The guys can stay if they want, but you are not.”

  “Is he still in jail?” I bit out.

  “If you won’t tell whoever it is then I’ll do it,” he kept on ignoring me.

  “Is he fucking out of jail?” I screamed this time.

  He sighed and got off the couch and walked to his room, ignoring my question. And I knew, I knew he was out, and they thought he had done this. I just didn’t know why he wouldn’t tell me this though, why was he hiding it, and what else was he hiding from me?

  Chapter 19

  I napped on and off throughout the night in-between cans of energy drinks and cups of coffee by daybreak I was showered, dressed, and ready to leave. When Cas came out of the room he glared at me then proceeded to ignore me. I ignored him in return, finally after stilted conversation and awkward silences, we left for the shop.

  When we rode up I was surprised to see the amount of bikes out front, I hopped off Angel and pulled my helmet off.

  I gestured around the parking lot, “What’s this?”

  Liam shrugged. “Who knows,” he replied and we all headed in.

  None of the guys had really looked at me all morning, and it was really annoying me. “I have no intentions of quitting.”

  They all three nodded their heads but kept going. “I’m not,” I reiterated.

  “Maybe you should,” whispered Kale.

  I stopped and stared at their three backs walking away from me, they agreed with Cas, that I should quit. I felt a pang in my chest at that, I thought they were worried about being disqualified, not this though.

  I continued walking towards our bay, once there, I put in my ear buds and went to work. I didn’t talk to anyone, acknowledge anyone, I just did what I needed to do. A few of the teams had shown up to help us, and I appreciated it.

  I felt a shoulder nudge mine and looked up to find Thayne looking down at me. I removed one of the ear buds, “Yes?”

  “How are you today?”

  “Pissed,” I told him putting the ear bud back in and going back to work.

  I only ever stopped long enough to get coffee or a soda and hit up the bathroom, other than that, I listened to music and did what was needed of me. I noticed people shooting glances my way but I didn’t pay any real attention to it or the fact that I was putting items down a little harder than necessary. Soon though my work ended and I left it to the guys to assemble the engine. I found the couch in the common area empty so I dragged my pillow and blanket in there and laid down.

  It was the first time in a while where I wasn’t able to fall asleep. Instead I thought back on what had happened since I had gotten here. Maybe Cas was right, maybe I should just quit and go home, maybe I couldn’t do this. Was it all a pipe dream, having my own shop, being able to do what I loved to do while working for myself?

  “What’s going on inside that head of yours, Scout?”

  I quickly wiped away the tears I hadn’t realized I had shed. “Didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

  “Just looking for you,” Thayne told me.

  “Well, you found me.”

  “Mmhmm.” He came and sat down on the other side of the couch from where I was curled up. “You going to answer me?”

  “Nope.”

  “Okay,” he said easily, “so what do you want to talk about?”

  “Nothing,” I mumbled, “just want to sleep.”

  He looked over at me. “When was the last time you slept, and I don’t mean a nap, I mean a real sleep?”

  I leaned up and beat my fist into my pillow trying to get comfortable. “Dunno,” I muttered.

  “Okay, want to tell me why you aren’t sleeping, you’re clearly exhausted.”

  “It’s safer.”

  “Okay,” he mused, “when is the last time you ate something?”

  “Dunno,” I mumbled into my pillow pulling my blanket snugger around me.

  “Don’t know, or don’t remember?”

  I looked towards him and glared, “Why do you care?”

  “Well because when I win, I want to win because you are performing at your best, not the shell you are now,” he told me.

  “When you win?”

  “Mmhmm when I win.”

  “Well I wouldn’t worry too much about that, since apparently I have to quit,” I told him instantly regretting it.

  “You have to quit?”

  “Yeah,” I breathed out, “or so I am told.”

  “Do you always do as you’re told?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s easier,” I told him then bit my lip to keep my mouth closed. Why did I always say too much with him?

  “For who?”

  “For everyone, it keeps me from getting hurt, it keeps them from worrying.”

  “Life is sometimes about getting hurt, Scout.”

  “Been there done that, they just don’t want to see it happen again.”

  “So instead they keep you in a bubble?” he asked but didn’t give me the time to answer. “They pick your friends, they tell you what you can and can’t do, what kind of life is that?”

  “A safe one,” replied Cas.

  “You’re not letting her live her life, you make her decisions, yet you don’t see her,” Thayne said then got up.

  “You don’t know anything about Scout,” Cas growled.

  “I know enough to see that she’s self-destructing in front of you, yet you’re more worried about her talking to me.” He looked over at me, “Anytime you need to talk find me, k?”

  I nodded and watched him walk out the door, Cas glaring at him the entire time.

  “I told you not to talk to him, not to trust him,” Cas yelled. “This is why you have to quit, you don’t know what’s in your best interest.”

  “My best interest?”

  “You don’t know him, Scout.”

  “Neither do you,” I yelled back.

  He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Let’s go find the producer so you can quit and I can get you home.”

  “No, I haven’t made up my mind about that.”

  “I don’t really care.”

  I screamed, jumped up, and walked out the door. Why couldn’t he listen to me for once instead of just bark orders at me?

  I walked back in our bay and found the guys putting on the finishing touches. I was proud of them, they had worked hard to get this finished. I looked up at the clock and saw that we had about an hour left.

  “Anything I can do?”

  They all three grunted a ‘no’ at me, so I climbed up on the workbench and watched them. Kale was circling around the engine checking all the alignment and bolts. I reached over and grabbed a stress ball out of the toolbox, we kept them lying around to strangle instead of each other.

  “I swear we are forgetting something,” he muttered.

  Simon, Liam, and Kale began listing items off and checking them, I
listened with half an ear watching them pace around the engine. When they all stopped looking at one another confused, I finally offered up what they were missing, “Oil.”

  They all kept talking ignoring me, I sighed, guess no one was going to listen to me today.

  “Oil,” I said louder, Kale reached over checking the spark plug.

  Finally I yelled, “Oil!” All three stopped and looked at me, I squeezed the stress ball, hard.

  “What?” asked Kale.

  “Oil, it’s what you’re missing.”

  “How do you know that, Harper Lee?”

  I nudged the full quarts of oil sitting beside me on the bench. “Because I brought you five quarts you should have used roughly three quarts, all five are here.”

  “Oh,” they all said in unison.

  I hopped down, tossed the stress ball at Liam’s head then grabbed three quarts, “You already put the spark plugs in?”

  “Yeah,” Kale mumbled and went to work removing them so we could add the oil.

  “Check the other fluids,” Kale said and the other two went to work doing that. I handed over the oil when he was ready, and stayed out of the way the rest of the time.

  With five minutes remaining, we were finished. “Sorry,” Kale mumbled.

  I nodded and headed out to the staging area, leaving the guys to clean up.

  We waited around for them to come out and call the bottom teams to the judging room. Roughly three hours later, three out of the six teams were called in. We weren’t one of them but Thayne’s was. I was a little nervous about that, I wasn’t ready to see him go. I noticed Matt staring at me, then when I would look his direction he would look away. This went on for a while until I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

  “What, Matt?”

  “Huh,” he muttered.

  “Why do you keep watching me?”

  “Just wondering if you’re okay,” he murmured.

  “I’m fine.” He rolled his eyes at my answer but didn’t push but I noticed he was still watching me, only this time trying to do it covertly.

  Finally the three teams came out, and the team from New Jersey went in to their stall, throwing things around. Guess they were heading back to the Garden State. I glanced up at Thayne he looked over at me and winked, then it was our turn to go in.

  When we were situated Eddie began, “You three were our top three this round, all three of your engines started.” Guess that meant the other three hadn’t.

  They went through each team, talking to the engine builders, none of them mentioning our team’s issues. Finally after they were done with the Q&A portion they announced the winner. I hadn’t really been paying attention, so when three pairs of arms encircled me I was caught off guard.

  “We won,” Liam whispered in my ear.

  “Thanks,” murmured Kale.

  After we were finished celebrating, we headed back to the common area, Matt walked up and put an arm around my shoulders.

  “I swear when you screamed out oil, I saw a dozen guys wince then start cussing,” he whispered.

  I laughed. “That’s what they did wrong?”

  “Don’t know, but you had me rethinking if we added oil,” he chuckled.

  “Ah, but you’d never make such a rookie mistake,” I told him.

  “Oh Seraph, I would and have,” he pulled my ponytail and took off with his team.

  “I hear congratulations are in order,” a voice said behind me.

  I looked over and smirked at Thayne, “They are, but they did most of the work.”

  “I’m pretty sure the entire building heard you remind them of oil.”

  I shrugged, “They weren’t listening.”

  “You seem to have that issue with a lot of males.”

  I glared at him.

  “Okay, so want to go out and get a beer in celebration?”

  “Sorry, I don’t drink.”

  He nodded, “Okay, coffee then?”

  I looked around and found four pairs of eyes on me, I shook my head, “Not now,” I whispered.

  He looked up then back at me. “Okay, then how about some time when the watchdogs are called off?”

  I nodded and looked around. “Sure, text me sometime.”

  “I don’t have your number,” he reminded me.

  “You didn’t have my address either but it didn’t stop you from showing up.” Then I walked off toward my team, smiling—a real smile for the first time in I didn’t know how long.

  Chapter 20

  “He was just saying congratulations,” I said when I walked up to the guys, Cas was glowering at me, Simon was frowning, Kale was scowling, and Liam was smirking.

  “Let’s go,” Cas barked grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door to the parking lot.

  When we got there, I jerked my arm out of his hand and stormed to Angel, that’s when I noticed Stella sitting in the parking lot.

  “Oh fuck no,” I yelled, “you didn’t?”

  “You took the other bike,” Cas said like I was in the wrong for riding my bike. “You know the rule, Cas.”

  “Yeah, well I broke it, sounds kind of familiar, huh?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I told you not to talk to him, to stay away from him, but you haven’t, have you?”

  I glared at my brother. “You cannot tell me who I can and cannot talk to!” I screamed.

  “The fuck I can’t, Scout!” he yelled back. “God knows you don’t make good decisions.”

  “What bad decision have I made?”

  “Do you really want to go there?”

  “Yes, because as far as I can see I don’t make any decisions.”

  “You stayed in that house, even though Matt offered for you to come stay with him you stayed!” he yelled. “Why the fuck would you stay in that house with him alone?”

  I stood there dumbfounded, barely breathing, I turned around and fumbled with my keys and climbed on Angel.

  “Wait, Scout, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of said that,” Cas said reaching out for me.

  I gunned Angel and tore out of the parking lot, ignoring the tears, ignoring the pain; I had to get away. After a few minutes, I pulled into a parking lot turned off the engine and gulped in breaths of air. Is that how he felt, that it was my fault it happened? I heard Stella pull up in the parking lot beside me but I disregarded it. Was it all my fault? I know everyone said that it wasn’t but I never truly believed that, I had to have done something to deserve it.

  Arms reached out dragging me off Angel. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it. God I am so sorry, Scout,” he murmured hugging me to his chest. “It wasn’t your fault, none of what happened was your fault. I was just mad and I wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry, baby girl.”

  I pushed away from him and wiped the tears away again. “You only said what was true, if I hadn’t stayed that week it wouldn’t have happened.”

  “Oh baby girl, it wasn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong.”

  “Do you know why I stayed?” I asked him quietly.

  “No,” he whispered.

  “Because I told you that he made me nervous, that I didn’t like being alone with him. But you told me I was being silly, that he had been a part of our family for five years—that he would take care of me.” He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “You told me that he was my brother just like you were, and I never blamed you, not once for what happened, it wasn’t your fault, Cas. It was my fault for not going with the way he made me feel; it was my fault, for taunting him. He told me I taunted him, that I drove him to it, but I never once did I blame you,” I sobbed.

  “Oh baby girl, you never did anything wrong,” he told me wrapping his arms around me. “It wasn’t your fault, it was his, he did that to you against your will, you never did anything wrong.”

  I shook my head. “I had to have done something,” I cried.

  He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried telling me over and over that it wasn
’t my fault, but it had to be, people didn’t just do that to one another.

  “I’m sorry, Scout,” he whispered when I had calmed down some. “I should have listened to you back then.”

  I shrugged and looked away. “You still do it, you know?”

  “Do what?”

  “Don’t listen to me, I’ve told you Thayne won’t hurt me, he’s my friend.”

  “Scout, I would rather err on the side of caution.”

  “And what if I don’t?”

  “I don’t really care; you are to stay away from him.”

  I stepped away from him and wiped my eyes. “I’m going home,” then I climbed on Angel and went back to the rental.

  When I got there I went straight to the room my stuff was in, locked the door, and curled up in a ball. I tried to nap but sleep wouldn’t come, instead I stared at the ceiling counting the tiles, then I heard the sound of my phone. I rolled over, pulled it out of my pocket, but didn’t recognize the number. I pulled up the text and smiled.

  COFFEE?

  I thought about that for a minute, everyone would head to bed around ten, I could sneak out for a while and have coffee with Thayne and no one would have to know.

  11?

  WHERE?

  CAFÉ ACROSS FROM GARAGE?

  SEE YOU THERE

  I saved his number into my phone and drifted off for a much needed nap.

  After my nap I got up, took my evening meds while downing another energy drink, fixed myself a plate of food and went into the living room. I sat down on the floor and crossed my legs then went about picking over my food. I ate a little but quickly lost my appetite. I gave up the pretense of eating and went to clean up the kitchen. When I came back, the guys were telling Cam about our win today. I smiled at how excited they were about it all, and sat down to play with the baby. When they got to the point of me screaming at them, I cringed but Cam laughed and told me well done.

  Soon after Simon, Cam, and Zadok went to bed, a little later Cas’s phone rang like it did around this time most nights and he headed off to his room, I knew he wouldn’t be back.

  “Want to watch a movie, Harper Lee?”

  “No, I just want to go to bed,” I told Liam and Kale yawning, hoping they would get the idea.

  Kale nodded and stood up dragging Liam with him. “Night, Scout.” Then I was alone—finally. I was beginning to worry since it was already ten thirty.